Operation Household Name: March Edition

ITS OUT!!!

I saw The Back-Up Plan twice the day it came out. lol. I have a substantial amount of face time. lol. For those of you that haven't seen it yet here are some pics of me on set... just so you'll know what to look for. lol.

Oooooh and here's the behind the scenes footage of the show I hosted. Sort of a mix of 106 & Park meets TRL but for House music. I edited the video myself. lol If you can't tell... I styled myself by the way. I'm soooo proud. lol
EDM (Electronic Dance Music) Takeover

New Years Goal

I want another tattoo. lol "A Cookie Cutter Outline of Noah's Ark"

Noah was fierce.

Despite the whole world and his family doubting him and probably commenting on his sanity behind his back (some to his face), Noah did what God told him to.

I want to be like Noah.

Strong. Detemined. Driven. Righteous.

"Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me." - Matthew 5:11

Follow your dreams. Follow your heart. Only you and God know whats right for you.
Greatness comes in individuality... Embrace your Queendom!

HAPPY NEW YEARS!

$3,800 Full Skirt, Norma Kamali

Hunger

Bare floors, cold walls,
Long hours, too much time.

Occupied with nothingness
Fill my void.

Yearning for distractions
Losing my mind
Aching silence overflowing with anxiety
Pent up energy
Romantically imbalanced

Lifespan of dead-ends and u turns
Fill my void

Challenging and unbreakable
Everyday surrendering
Searching
Grasping

Reaching for something
Fill my void

Blindly running
No map. No guide.
Fleeing from the unknown
Running to a mystery.
Memory clouded.
But I know I need

I know I want
Fill my void.

Stomach burning,
Heart pounding,
Throat inflamed.
Tear ducts empty
Fire through my veins
Forever in motion
Forever...
Chasing possibilities,

Looking for peace of mind.
Fill my void.

No stone unturned.
No avenue unexplored.
Reading

Listening

Finding something to fill the void.

$98 Bustle of Lysistrata, Artlab

I miss home

I am a zebra surrounded by horses.
Don't pet me; I'm not a dog, I'm just different.
I am a stiletto in a room full of flip flops.
Don't try to put me on, believe me you can't walk in them.
I am the afro in a world of blondes.
Literally & it SUCKS!!!!
Kevin Hall painted gown, Kimora Lee Simons

A letter to God

I can't imagine life for my children's children.
The opportunities.
Thank you!!!!

In the words of another...

I'm a prisoner

Of words unsaid

Just lonely feelings

Locked away in my head

I trap myself further

Every time I stay quiet

I should start to speak

But I stop and stay silent

And now I've made

My own hard bed

Inside a prison of words unsaid

I am a P.O.W.

Not a prisoner of war

A prisoner of words

Like a soldier

I'm a fighter

Yet only a puppet

Mostly I only say

What you wanna hear

Could you take it if I came clear?

Or would you rather see me

Stoned on a drug of complacency and compromise

M.I.A.

I guess that's what I am

Scraping this cold earth

For a piece of myself

For peace in myself

P.O.W. by Alicia Keys

It'd be easier if you put me in jail

If you locked me away

I'd have someone to blame

But these bars of steel are of my making

They surround my mind

And have me shaking

My hands are cuffed behind my back

I'm a prisoner of the worst kind, in fact

A prisoner of compromise

A prisoner of compassion

A prisoner of kindness

A prisoner of expectation

A prisoner of my youth

Run too fast to be old

I've forgotten what I was told

Ain't I a sight to behold?

A prisoner of age dying to be young

To my head is my hand with a gun

And it's cold and it's hard

Cause there's nowhere to run

When you've caged youself

By holding your tongue

I'm a prisoner

Of words unsaid

Just lonely feelings

Locked away in my head

It's like solitary confinement

Every time I stay quiet

I should start to speak

But I stop and stay silent

And now I've made

My own hard bed

Inside a prison of words unsaid

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Warning

Don't think

It infuriates

Stay busy

It overwhelms

Never be alone

It depresses

I'm afraid of quiet

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Positivity

Today feels like it could be good



I really hope so.

$1,690 bag, Christian Louboutin

Sweetness

Tonight was better.
I didn't exactly know the people but it was cotton candy nonetheless.
I felt like I had friends.

We laughed.
We joked.
We criticized.

I felt like my opinion mattered.

Recall

Okay I'm a little over dramatic. But sometimes I do feel like that. And it's soo random. I can be having a wonderful day then... boom. It creeps up on me. My mom says I'm scared of quiet.

Maybe I am.

Anxiety

I have a hole in my chest. No one can see it 

and no one knows,
but it's definitely there.  
And it moves.
Sometimes it's in my throat.  
Or my heart
Or in the front of my chest before my ribs
Or in my back in the middle of my spine 
And it varies in size.
It comes when I sit too still for too long and 

I'm too quiet.
I worry.