An Actor's Rant

I've been training in acting seriously since 2003: SPARC, CFA, ComedySportz, AMDA, LACC, Killian's Commercial Workshop, DFAS, Carnetta's Journey to an Oscar, and Playhouse West (if I forgot anyone I am sorry.) I have over $30,000 in student loans, but I've loved every single minute of it, because if you want to be a great actor, you have to study. So I study.

I've spent countless of dollars on postcards; casting services; headshot printing, uploading, and shoots; business cards; mailings; and a website because those are the tools that will market you to agents and casting directors and they get you the jobs. So I market. 

I was finally brave enough to take a short film script I kept hidden for years and share it with others. I couldn't find a producer to guide me through filmmaking so with a few tidbits from friends and God I stepped up and became my own. I hired a cast and crew of 30 people and together we created a beautiful film, because I've been in LA for 8 years and I came to LA to act. So I made an opportunity to act.

They don't tell you about this stuff on TV. About the time. And the money. And the tears. It's lonely, and terrifying and everyday I wish God would've made me a doctor. Nothing about this business is guaranteed, I've been here for 8 years and still can't even pay my phone bill consistently on acting alone. I could be here another 8 years to no avail... but I've got mama. And I got my heart. And I've got a desire, and when I'm in "it", like really so deep in a character, in a zone... it's God. And I can't, won't stop. And as long as I've got my imagination, God and a keyboard, I'll never be unemployed. I'm an actor, you can keep your "aspiring", I've paid my dues.

The Look

STEPHON kissed me in the spring, 
Robin in the fall, 
But Colin only looked at me 
And never kissed at all.

Stephon's kiss was lost in jest,
Robin's lost in play,
But the kiss in Colin's eyes
Haunts me night and day.

- Sara Teasdale

LIFE IS A BOX OF CHOCOLATE & I'M GRABBING ALL MY FAVORITE PIECES!

It's been a while. I apologize. My computer broke and they had to ship it off to the mother station or some crap like that... I'm sorry.

Anywho... SOOO MUCH HAS HAPPENED!!!
(awkwardly walks to the front of the classroom) uh hrmm (clears throat) During my spring break...

I filmed 2 movies. TWO!!!

And I hosted a tv show. Yupp!!

I went to the music studio. Uh huh I did!

I got rid of some baggage. I let go and let God!

I gained a couple of friends and we've been on some adventures. 

ANNNNNNNND I've had a little excitement in the romance area of my life.

I AM MAKING MOVES!!! LIFE IS A BOX OF CHOCOLATE & I'M GRABBING ALL MY FAVORITE PIECES!

Since it'll be crazy to break down each and every thing thats happened... I'll post videos. :)

Griffith Park Observatory
One of my friends and I went to Griffith park. It was soooooo much fun. Her name is Javalan, she's funny &, I met her while performing at LACC she's an actress too. There are pictures as well.

By the way I didn't cut my hair. Thats what happens when I wash it and don't do anything to it. I like it! What do you think?

For Colored Girls...

Has been going very well. We've had two photoshoots and my first private rehearsal. Our director, Alexia Robinson, is PHENOMENAL!!!!

Promo Video

Photoshoots

Okay I'll put up everything else at a later date. I'm using the school's computer and I've been on for over an hour now & there's a line.... Til then. *Muah

Ooooooh..... one more thing!!!!!

 I forgot to tell you I also got new headshots & they're awesome!!! Posting pics later. =D

It's Been A While

Untitled

I love nothing the way that I love you.

Unconditional.

Without qualms or expectations even.

I watch you exploit me, continuously.

Ridicule. Abandon. Enchant, and yearn for another.

Idolize women whom are nothing like me.

My arms comfort you.

My words support and coddle you.

My body shelters, warms, and births you.

My love moves mountains.

And you.

You idolize every woman but me.

New. Different. Exotic. Not me.

Black man.

Just Another Sad Love Song

I haven't blurbed in a while. So here it is. lol   No poetry, nothing fancy. Just me ranting on   one topic. lol

Just Another Sad Love Song

I don't like love songs. They make me feel sad and lonely, yet I can't stay away from them. Is everyone out living this exciting, fulfilling, happy life accompanied by their soulmate who completes them in every way possible and dishes out mind-blowing sex 24/7? Am I missing out?

...AND THE SAD LOVE SONGS!

They're even more depressing. Not the actual stories they're telling, though they do get pretty rough, but the begging and crying. Someone was motivated by another human being enough to pour their hearts out and embarrass themselves for all of our benefit. I've never felt that longing for anything, well success and clothing... so does that make me superficial.

A man has yet to trump the way I feel about myself or my career or my favorite pair of shoes. I cried when I lost my burgundy guess purse and stiletto cowboy, burgundy, butterfly engraved, Nine West boots to match, (Moment Of Silence, Please. Those shoes were bad.) yet I never gave a damn about anyone of the opposite sex. A man hasn't moved me to create, write, or even play a love song on repeat and day dream in the dark. I do that for myself. lol That's my me time.

Does this stem from me never really knowing my father? I'm trying to counsel myself right now. lol My father has been incarcerated for most of my life and my mother fell a victim to project twins...

Project Twins

When a man gets two diff. women pregnant at the same time.

"Man, you hear about Rob?"

"Nah, what happened?"

"He got Denise & Sherrie pregnant at the same time."

"Ah ha! That nigga havin' 'Project Twins!'"

Courtesy of UrbanDictionary.com There's even a link where you can get the definition on a mug for $19.95 http://bit.ly/MxC9f

...and this is causing me to close myself off from guys as to not repeat the cycle. Likely, but pretty much bullshit. I haven't found a man worthy of me. I'm the shit and he should be too. Men step your game up. I'm getting bored.

ENCORE!!!!!!!

I was a smurfette.
It was hot, packed, and uncomfortable.
I didn't get enough attention and I showed it.
It was awkward.
All my guys in one room. Except Bryan.
If Bryan had been here it would have been fun.

$700 Betony Vernon Pleasure Puff Ring