Operation: Household Name

Evolving Artist changing the world one smile at a time.

Monday, March 30, 2009

Life on Mars

Day 1
I get to VA and ride the BUS(!!!) to Willow Lawn with my younger cousin D. He goes into Target and I, Barnes and Noble. I purchase my book and walk to Target and there are three cop cars outside; a officer greets me in the parking lot. "Are you Darryl's cousin? Welcome back to VA?" My 15 year old cousin gets arrested for trying to steal a play station from Target. They take him away and I'm stranded at a deserted mall. Day 2-6
My best friend gets a new boyfriend. She went through two in the first 4 days that I was there. Her new boyfriend, Ken, pays her car note, past due credit card bills, takes us and her sister out to dinner, and treats us to several nights at the Sheraton, all in the first 2 days. (Note: I only see my best friend when her boy friend TELLS her to bring me, otherwise I'm at her place with her family, ALONE!) Now every time we're with him Ken has to make "runs" (drug dealer), but she says I'm being judgmental and he "fixes cars on the side."
After my week of being stranded at her place with her family, who I love dearly, my feelings are hurt. I'm upset, ready to go home. I mean I haven't seen her in 2 years (I live in CA!) I come and visit her and the chick completely blows me off. The last straw, we had plans to go somewhere, but her and the bf decide to clean the house. Well, he does most of it. It takes them forever! While they're cleaning I take a nap, wake up and she's gone out with him. So I left, called my Aunt grabbed my things and left. Told her mom goodbye and I wasn't coming back.

Several Days Later
I'm going out to dinner with my mentor Mrs. Christine, AMAZING!! Spent a few nights at my Aunt's and now I'm staying with Christine and my phone starts malfunctioning. But low and behold there's a text on my phone from Missy. "I know you f'ing hate me right now but this guys a criminal" Not 'Sorry' or 'How are you?' But once again only thinking of herself. She's in a situation, so she needs her best friend :( Hmmm.... I never got a chance to answer back. I forgot my charger on a completely different side of town. So my phone's dead and I'm stranded in COUNTRY ASS VIRGINIA!!! One good thing is I'm with Christine and she's amazingly sweet and funny and... just the best. But I want my phone! I can't call my friends and I found out later that my friend was going to take me to Strut. I missed STRUT! Strut's a fashion show, but they go all out. Acts in between, just complete entertainment.


Today...
leave tomorrow night for New York and my phones still dead so there's no chance of me seeing anyone before I go. I haven't even seen my sister because my niece was in the hospital, then my phone broke, and now her car's broke. Worse vacation ever!!!

Okay I've vented. lol
And it wasn't the worse... I learned several things:

I know who the people who really love me are.

I learned several ways to further my career.

I am way more determined now; there's a yearning.

I have a new goal. By March 31 of 2010 I want an apartment on Wilshire Blvd with a dog. I'm going to make it a home for myself and I will be able to afford it on my own.

I read the The Power of the Actor by Ivana Chubbuck. Best book ever.

And watched limitless amount of movies. You can call it homework.
I am ready to achieve!

Slowly, but Surely. I have no doubts!

This month of "vacation" has let me know how much I love LA. I can't wait to go home and get back to work. The anticipation is overwhelming.
I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready...
To get back to work.
To diet and exercise. :)
To do an extra role whenever possible.$$$
To AUDITION!
TO WORK!!!!


Whatever I have to do to get where I want to be. I know my overall objective. I'm ready to achieve!

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

I miss home


I am a zebra surrounded by horses.
Don't pet me; I'm not a dog, I'm just different.
I am a stiletto in a room full of flip flops.
Don't try to put me on, believe me you can't walk in them.
I am the afro in a world of blondes.
Literally & it SUCKS!!!!
Kevin Hall painted gown, Kimora Lee Simons

Thursday, November 6, 2008

A letter to God


I can't imagine life for my children's children.
The opportunities.
Thank you!!!!

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

In the words of another...

I'm a prisoner

Of words unsaid

Just lonely feelings

Locked away in my head

I trap myself further

Every time I stay quiet

I should start to speak

But I stop and stay silent

And now I've made

My own hard bed

Inside a prison of words unsaid

I am a P.O.W.

Not a prisoner of war

A prisoner of words

Like a soldier

I'm a fighter

Yet only a puppet

Mostly I only say

What you wanna hear

Could you take it if I came clear?

Or would you rather see me

Stoned on a drug of complacency and compromise

M.I.A.

I guess that's what I am

Scraping this cold earth

For a piece of myself

For peace in myself

P.O.W. by Alicia Keys

It'd be easier if you put me in jail

If you locked me away

I'd have someone to blame

But these bars of steel are of my making

They surround my mind

And have me shaking

My hands are cuffed behind my back

I'm a prisoner of the worst kind, in fact

A prisoner of compromise

A prisoner of compassion

A prisoner of kindness

A prisoner of expectation

A prisoner of my youth

Run too fast to be old

I've forgotten what I was told

Ain't I a sight to behold?

A prisoner of age dying to be young

To my head is my hand with a gun

And it's cold and it's hard

Cause there's nowhere to run

When you've caged youself

By holding your tongue


I'm a prisoner

Of words unsaid

Just lonely feelings

Locked away in my head

It's like solitary confinement

Every time I stay quiet

I should start to speak

But I stop and stay silent

And now I've made

My own hard bed

Inside a prison of words unsaid

$20 Bondage Tape Black, $ 230 Ilya Fleet Long Silver Wrist Cuffs, $240 Ilya Fleet Prayer Cuffs Black, $175 Kiki de Montparnasse 24K handcuff and key necklace, $165 Porcelain Geisha Gag Lips

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Warning



Don't think
It infuriates
Stay busy
It overwhelms
Never be alone
It depresses

I'm afraid of quiet
$165 Maison Fabre driving gloves, Saks.com

What's next?



Do not mislead me.
Don't bullshit me.
Be upfront in the beginning!!!

How hard is it to be honest?

It might be a little disappointing but it's way better than how I'm feeling right now.
DO NOT MISLEAD ME!!! It only pisses me off.
$600 Campise gun necklace in gold, RonHerman.com

Saturday, October 25, 2008

ENCORE!!!!!!!


I was a smurfette.
It was hot, packed, and uncomfortable.

I didn't get enough attention and I showed it.
It was awkward.

All my guys in one room. Except Bryan.

If Bryan had been here it would have been fun.


$700 Betony Vernon Pleasure Puff Ring

Friday, October 24, 2008

Positivity



Today feels like it could be good



I really hope so.
$1,690 bag, Christian Louboutin

Downgrade



I miss the old me.
If I saw myself I wouldn't recognize me and I definitely wouldn't hang out with me.
I'm at least 15lbs heavier.
My hair is a hot mess.
I wear character shoes!!!
I'm broke.
I'm not happy.
I miss the old me.